Thursday, June 10, 2010

A Great Experience

Okay, it's no secret. I'm a Discovery Channel junkie. I watch Mythbusters, American Chopper though now, it's dying and moved to TLC), Everest, Deadliest Catch. I love that crap. I guess it gives me some sort of insight into areas I know Nothing about. I have no desire to fish, fabricate motorcycles or determine the terminal velocity of a penny as it is dropped from an 18 story port a potty. Perhaps I'm looking to live vicariously through strangers who seem to live exciting lives, or face death on a daily basis, or maybe I just find it entertaining.
A year or so ago, I got hooked on storm chasers. I have been teased, “Maybe they'll catch something (a storm on camera or data or crab), maybe they won't?” Indicating that these shows have pretty much the same plot episode after episode, why bother? With the crab fishing, It's absolutely crazy, but I get why people do it. It's totally dangerous, it's miserable, backbreaking work, but the pay day is pretty sweet. For generational fishermen, growing up, it is the only career they know. The storm chasers are different. I have never understood the appeal. A lot of these guys have Ph D's in Meteorology, and can get comfy jobs in TV or radio or university settings, but they choose to bust their butts to try to get grants and raise money just to spend it on electronic data collection gizmo's. I suppose there is the possibility of a huge pay off, however that does not seem to be the driving force behind it. And there are tons of “non research” people who chase storms for the heck of it. Is this the only way in Oklahoma and Nebraska to get any sort of adrenaline rush? While that's probably true, I don't think that's it.
The other morning, I sat outside under the overcast sky. The clouds were moving, but on the ground, no sort of breeze. While it wasn't necessarily “hot”, it was not very comfortable. Just good ol' heavy Midwest humidity. Then, from a distant place in the heavens, came the gentle rumble of thunder, and with it the promise of relief from the stagnant warm air. Clouds began gaining momentum as they quickly traveled through the sky. The gentle rumbles became pops and cracks. The sound of wind through the trees began as a soft fluttering, then abruptly rose in tempo to mimic applause and crescendoed to the sound of fierce rolling waves.
The cool breeze hit my face, lifting away, not only the heavy heat, but anything that felt heavy inside and out. I took a long, deep breath and could taste the coming rain. I looked up, and the silver blanket of clouds was pulling behind it a large charcoal gray wall. It was as thick and as deep and as wide and as long as I could see. The mid-day that had appeared as twilight, quickly turned to dusk. Though I was surrounded by movement an sound, I felt as still as rock, yet as light as the dry leaves floating in the wind. I was very conscious of something Great.
I then began to catch a glimpse of understanding. Perhaps people don't just pull over and get out of their cars on country plains roads for a cheap thrill or cool weather show. Just maybe, it is one of the rare opportunities we take to truly “BE” in the Presence of Greatness.
We are easily distracted by the possible looming tornado inside from recognizing Greatness for Who it is. But Greatness is not restricted to extreme weather events. We may have had our breath taken way by an ocean view, a snow covered mountain or new baby, only to be quickly distracted by getting “a good spot” on the beach, how cold it is, or the weight of new responsibilities. We spend a brief moment in the divine, then get weighted back down by our humanity. Greatness is evident in each blade of grass, drop of dew or colony of ants, we just don't really care.
So, I will probably continue to watch the Danger hunters on TV, and settle for a facsimile of that which is Supernatural and Divine. But if you and I are having a conversation in the driveway one day and I zone out on an ant carrying a potato chip, please don't take it personally. I'm simply Experiencing Greatness.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Dorks Reset- a rerun from the old blog

So, Ok, The night the last Harry Potter book came out, I stood in line with the other Nerds to get my pre ordered book at midnight. I went home and read until 5:20am. Slept off and on till 8, went with the kids to Lebanon, Ohio where we rode the “Hogwarts Express”, went home and made dinner, read until I finished the book at 4:30am, slept a couple of hours, managed to not fall asleep during church, ate lunch, took my kids ice skating, then hit the wall about 6o’clock Sunday night. Why would I, a 32-year-old person with two kids do this to myself? Why is the fate of “the boy who lived” so important to me?
Truthfully, it is only to save my family from ridicule and embarrassment that I refrain from donning official licensed Gryffindor attire or have a Firebolt replica on the wall. God help me if I were single and wealthy. There would be a room for every Disney, Tolkien, Rowling or Neverland fantastical environment.
As a little girl, I remember clicking my heals together 3 times hoping I would be transported to my “real” home, because, surely, THIS couldn’t be it. But even now, I admit, I have to resist the temptation to feel the back of the coat closet and secretly hope it’s not there, or tap the five bricks in the right sequence with my pink umbrella in anticipation of them opening to reveal Diagon Alley, or press on the bathroom mirror to gain access to a nonsensical world.
Many would think I’m a dreamer, seeking an escape from my mundane suburban life, but you would be incorrect. I’m the most blessed person I know. My husband’s a stud, my kids are amazing and each day brings a new adventure. Yet, a place inside of me still wonders if I ran through the train station barrier, would there be the teeniest chance I would end up at Platform 9 3/4 instead of the ER.
And I know I’m not alone. I wasn’t the only childless mom in line that night to get a book; and sold-out midnight showings of Star Wars and Lord Of The Rings are attended by thousands who dropped the kids at Grandma’s for the night and have to get up and go to work in the morning.
Why the fascination?
M.Hale’s book, Beautiful Girlhood, a literary staple to many young girls in the early 20th century, discourages the reading of fantastic fiction and fairy stories for fear the head will dwell on unrealistic ideas instead of being a diligent and serious woman with aspirations of being a good wife and mother. Many cultures have tried to keep young people from dreaming or imagining, encouraging practicality, but the “imaginary world” spirit universally endures. It seems to be instinctive, just part of who we are. Could it be that our “Inner Dufus” is divinely inspired?
I believe there’s a part of us, as spiritual beings that know we don’t belong here. We feel like a square pegs in round holes because we are. Our spirit longs for the place which defies physical laws and where we are constantly in the presence of greatness and perfection. The universal struggle of good/evil, Jedi/Sith, White Witch/Aslan, is happening now all around us and we’re part of it in our “ordinary” lives, and we’re drawn to it, though we don’t see it. Perhaps the dorky dreamers are not trying to escape reality, but truly sense the bigger picture. Or, maybe we’re just dorks.